| | Posted by David Zinczenko on Tue, Oct 09, 2007, 4:37 am PDT
Ask
a group of guys what turns them on about a woman, and you'll sometimes
get the predictable answers: full lips, full bosom, full booty.
These
are a few quick-and-dirty biological imperatives that will turn many a
man's head. But a lot of women fulfill those requirements already. So
what makes certain women boy magnets, and leaves others spending
Saturday nights watching Saturday Night Live skits?
As always,
men are more complicated than a lot of people give them credit for, and
when it comes to turn-ons, the masculine gender has plenty of surprises
up their metaphorical sleeve. Here, some of the ways to effectively rev
the masculine engine:
1. Standing Tall
Don't get me
wrong: it's not that we want a woman who can balance a beer tray on her
head. It's what good posture says about her. A woman who stands tall
typically a) dresses well, b) exercises often, and c) is confident
about her body and what it's good for. And if she's proud of her figure
no matter what shape or size, that makes men take notice, as well.
2. True Grit
Men
know that women cry. Men know that women can get hurt. Men want to be
there to help whenever they do. But there's something insanely
attractive about women who can bite their lips, buck up, and grit out
some of life's twists, turns, sprains, and pains.
Note: Before
you throw e-daggers my way, I'm not suggesting that it's not OK to cry
or that women shouldn't seek proper attention when they're in pain,
either physically or emotionally. (Nor am I saying that lots of men
don't need to heed this advice as well.) I'm simply saying we're often
drawn to partners who can walk off life's minor insults.
3. Baseball Caps
When
we were growing up, we used them to show our team allegiances. In
college, we used them to hide bed head. Past the age of 30, we mainly
wear them to cover our bald spots. But no matter what team we root for,
we like a baseball cap the most when it's worn by a woman. The look
sends all kinds of messages about the kind of woman she is: sporty,
strong, comfortable kicking back, Sox fan. (All the better if it's a
Cubs hat - she's an optimist with a great sense of humor.)
4. Software Savvy
Maybe
it's a giant sexual metaphor, but women like men who know hardware, and
men like women who know software. Show a guy a woman who knows her way
around systems, networks, and connections, and he'll be dazzled by her
smarts - and appreciate her talents.
There's something sexy
about a woman who can click a few buttons and get something working
exactly the way she wants it to. (That is, as long as the buttons she
pushes aren't his.)
5. Sexy Shampoo
Men typically are
stereotyped as needing visual cues to feel attraction. While it's true
that men need their share of eye candy, they also are mightily turned
on by the olfactory sweets, as well. Perfume and body lotion are nice
and all, but the smell of her freshly washed hair that's nestled up
under the chin on a Sunday morning is a reminder of all that's good
about relationships.
6. Understated Underwear
Slinky and
small lingerie works for anniversaries, birthday surprises, honeymoons,
and other seduce-me moments. But the look that makes men feel both
comfortable and excited is when she's wearing boxers (waistband rolled)
and a thin-as-can-be T-shirt that's neither too tight nor too big. Call
it supreme sexiness in the understated. The same effect can be achieved
by wearing his old dress shirt and a pair of panties.
7. Dirt and Sweat
Of
course, men like to see their women dolled up for a night out. But many
men appreciate the exact opposite: The woman who hikes, bikes, mows the
lawn, hacks trees and branches, and otherwise pulls her weight. Seeing
the dirt, mud, sweat, and occasional road rash is something that stokes
our primal side.
8. A Few "Duh" Moments
Men like smart
women (see "software savvy," above). But there's a small part of a
man's brain that wants her to have an occasional dollop of ditziness.
Why? Because if she can show that she may not know everything, it
reinforces something deep inside a man that he's needed, that he's
trusted, that he can be there to help.
And it says that when we
screw up on occasion (and we will, oh yes, we will), she'll understand.
Hypercompetence is something we just can't compete with. And
ultimately, this game isn't about competition, it's about crossing the
finish line together.
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